I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
