"it" just moved
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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