How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
