His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
