Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
