I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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