He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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