Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I need water and some morals
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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