so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
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He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
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This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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