oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
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