This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
