You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
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