Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Randomize
