you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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