Only a mothe r could love this liver
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize