I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
