operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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