Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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