**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
