i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
