A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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