Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize