she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
