So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
