Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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