do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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