If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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