rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
