and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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