forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
