I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
