youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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