I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
