You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
