I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
