You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
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