I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
