There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
