ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
