My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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