I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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