dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
