Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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