spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
The police scanner is talking about you again....
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize