i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
