What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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