Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
