Whod you bang
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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