I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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