So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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