Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
