Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Randomize
