I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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