She's JV to your varsity
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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