you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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