I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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