Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Randomize
