i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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