I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize