It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
