"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
