I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Randomize
