There was a lot of him and a little penis
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
