OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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